It’s a natural response to feel defensive when we’re criticised, ultimately somebody is questioning our actions and because humans tend to hold on tightly to their identities this can often be painful to process.
For example, if somebody tells you, “your writing is rubbish!” Because we may already be holding onto the belief that our writing isn’t good enough we’re more likely to feel hurt and get defensive.
I believe there’s vital differentiator between good criticism and plain old abuse and it’s often down to who’s delivering it.
“Criticism hurts because it often confirms a belief that we’ve been entertaining.”
I’m certainly more likely to listen to criticism from a mentor or a business coach that I’ve spent money on than a troll online but the troll can still hurt our feelings if we lack the self-esteem and self-awareness to put the insult into perspective eg: This person doesn’t know me. What is their current level of expertise or experience to make that kind of judgment?
On the flip side…
We shouldn’t try to avoid criticism, we should go out and find it… But in the right places.
“Criticism from those whose opinions you value is the truest form of care.”