The older I get the more I find myself stressing out about the way people perceive me. Being twenty-five, I feel constantly on the cusp between a world where exploration and failures were acceptable and a world where I should become a responsible adult by finding a steady career and moving out of my parent’s home.
“Man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent.” – John Gray
Most of my friends around the same age also share this uncomfortable feeling that we’re just not living up to our own expectations or those of the people around us. I can’t quite put my finger on whether it’s our rejection of the 9-5 lifestyles that our parents subscribed to, the fact that education sold us a false promise or because the influx of information has helped us to wisen up to the realisation that life should be more than working to survive, either way, I can’t help but feel slightly uneasy.
“It would just be nice to live in a world where people did challenging things because they wanted to, not because they were forced to in order to survive.” – Sean Carroll
Since returning from my travels early, I’ve had three months to read, write and do all the things I really enjoy doing whilst living economically off my dwindling savings. I’m currently a finalist in the NLFP film funding competition, I’ve helped my friend start his own business and I’ve also began building my own client base for creating digital content. Unfortunately, as 2014 hits and my savings fade away, the pressures to earn a living whilst slowly being sucked in to a society that’s not designed for entrepreneurial or creative young people, I’ll have to make the choice whether to step back in to the matrix or learn to embrace this uneasy feeling for a little longer.